Leaving a blog without posts for so long is always REALLY awkward. It’s like, raising your head above the quilt covers after a long period of time and saying, hi, I’m still here… I don’t really think anything has changed. I am sorry there’s no news… I’ve been sleeping a lot.
For so long I’ve had this twisted relationship with my blog – I envy Amy of 2017 who thought ‘I can write anything and it doesn’t matter’. I empathise with the 2018 Amy who absolutely poured herself into her blog and felt all the feelings about how successful or unsuccessful every post was. I feel foolish looking back at 2019 Amy who was finally getting ‘good views’, and poured my whole life into every post, only for 2020 to rear it’s ugly head.
I loved my blog. It was a space I used to learn and grow. My favourite posts are still here sitting amongst the mental health scars, the pieces of me I left behind, the vapid nonsense I was told would ‘get me views’, the slow progress of my photography skills, pictures of my friends I’ve since printed and stored, the small businesses I supported who didn’t survive the pandemic, the reviews of my favourite places, the ex boyfriends I thought were forever, the best and worst parts of me muted.
2020, 2021, 2022… Well we don’t talk about those years. The pandemic killed any ability to write about anything but my mental health or my occasional trips outside. 2023 was the year I really tried to do more on here… until depression consumed me. On the Witches’ New Year (1st November 2023) I started a private, physical journal to pour all my thoughts into. It’s been almost a year since I started it and I’ve never looked back. It’s me, entirely unfiltered and not feeding the algorithms and AI content scanners that are killing the blogging genre.
It’s also all just been too much since my 9 to 5 requires me to write, rewrite, edit and proof, and absolutely kills any wish for me to write in this way. My only writing now is fictional and it doesn’t really fit here. Also, I’ve recently deleted most of my social media accounts in an attempt to be more ‘offline’. There’s always been so many more important things than putting my thoughts into the universe for others to read – and I guess this is just not something I am passionate about anymore.
So where do I go from here? I will be finishing off the year with some theatre reviews and potentially some bits and pieces about places I’ve been (although I scrapbook those now and it’s so much more fulfilling so maybe not). 2025 Amy is likely to disappear and do things that are closer to their heart. This blog will be archived and I will continue to heal, learn, explore and create offline without the ever-present expectation of an empty blog.
This is probably the fastest blog post I’ve ever written and it’ll likely be the last time I put my truest thoughts here. It’s been fun, but I think blogging is dead and I want to go and write somewhere more true and worthwhile to myself. <3 It’s been fun.
